


Nobody knows my heart like you

by N4rglefl0wers



Category: Irondad - Fandom, MCU, Marvel, spiderson - Fandom
Genre: Other, this is boring sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-06-29 05:40:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15723114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N4rglefl0wers/pseuds/N4rglefl0wers
Summary: “Your kid...what’s he like?”“Peter? he’s gonna change the world someday,”Tony didn’t expect the phone call that morning. The call telling him May Parker had passed away and he was Peter’s emergency contact.“...but I feel like the whole world is crumbling before me.”





	1. Don’t push me away

Liberosis  
The desire to care less about things

Tony wasn't expecting the phone call that morning, the call telling him that May Parker had passed away and the he was Peter's emergency contact. With a sigh he got himself out of bed and got ready for the day. He could have turned down the call that morning, said he wasn't able to look after peter...because in all honesty, he couldn't. The man had no experience with taking care of a child. 

Tony drove to the social services building while listening to the radio, they were talking about a drastic car crash that had happened the night before. Four injured and one dead. God. Tony sure hoped peter wasn't injured. He found himself picking up the pace towards the building when he parker his car, just to make sure peter was ok. Tony opened the door with such great force that it made the woman behind the desk jump. 

"Ah yes, Tony Stark." The woman cleared her throat and fixed the dress coat she was wearing before gesturing towards where peter was sitting on the floor. 

When tony walked over to peter, he noticed a black eye and some stitches in peters forehead. Peter didn't look up when tony sat down next to him, or when tony placed a hand on peters knee. 

"Everything's going to be alright kid," tony said quietly. He opened his mouth to speak again when the social worker interrupted.

"I'm going to need you to sign some forms in order to take legal guardianship of Mr Parker," she said. 

This made peters head snap up. Apparently he didn't know he was going to live with tony. Peter ran a hand through his hair before standing up, he limped slightly showing that his left leg had been injured. Tony put an arm over peters shoulder as the boy stood next to him.

"Am I living with you?" Peter asked quietly. 

"Course you are kid," tony said with fake enthusiasm. 

He didn't even have a room for peter yet, that's something he needed to get on with. Then peter would also have to live with the avengers...or he could stay on Tony's floor. Tony rarely let anyone stay on his floor. 

"We will do occasional check ups on peter to make sure he isn't neglected, that will be under something official and long-term happens with him as he will no longer be on our system." The social worker explained.

"Are you saying this isn't official? As in he won't be staying with me forever?" Tony asked, clearly confused by the woman's word choice.

"My apologies, at the moment you are peters legal guardian. I was trying to say that if you were to adopt peter, as in become his adoptive parent, we would no longer need to check in on him," the social worker told them.

Tony simply nodded, "we'll be off then."

With that he walked with peter out to the car, "kid...your silence is scaring me." Tony meant it as a joke but peter seemed to take it seriously. 

"I just... i just don't know how to feel, you know? Why couldn't it have been me, mr stark? Why did it have to be May?" Peter pleaded. 

"First of all, I know your aunt, and I know she would not want you to be thinking like that. She's in a better place, pete. A place of no worries, so you shouldn't be worrying either." Tony tried to comfort peter in the best way he could. "Oh and no more Mr Stark, you're living with me kid...call me Tony."

Tony was almost certain he saw a small smile creep onto Peter's face, "what is stronger than the human heart that shatters over and over, yet still lives?" The kid whispered.

"What was that?" Tony asked, he had never heard peter say anything like that before.

"Oh oh nothing, I just....like poetry," peter mumbled.

Tony smiled to himself, there was so much he didn't know about the kid. Tony thought he knew a lot about peter, but living with him would probably unravel so much more. He knew things like peters favourite breakfast food, what he watched on tv, his hobbies, interests and so much more. Tony had no idea however, that peter was into poetry. 

"You've never told me that before," tony said. 

"It's never come up in conversation I guess," peter said. 

 

They pulled up at the compound and Tony parked the car in the garage. The two of them got out and made their way up to Tony's floor via the elevator, luckily the team currently weren't at the compound as they were working on some stuff at the tower. 

"I should probably tell you now, the avengers are living here as well...you don't have to bother with them if you don't want to though," Tony explained

"That's cool...um, are any of my clothes here? Or bedroom furniture?" Peter asked. 

Tony thought for a minute, "F.R.I.D.A.Y! Call someone to get all of peters clothes and furniture from the apartment." Meanwhile, he and peter could eat some lunch. 

A few hours later the boxes of peters stuff arrived, peter seemed eager to get something. Tony wouldn't have been as phased if peter was excited about what he was getting, but the kid seemed...worried? 

"Hey what's the big rush? I can sort it all out," tony said. He was trying to be kind but it worried peter even more. 

During peters hassle to get what it was he wanted, tony spotted what he thought it was, he noticed a pink, purple and blue flag in one of the boxes. 

"Is this why?" Tony asked as he pulled the flag out, fear flashed over peters face. "it's nothing to worry about you know? I like guys as well as girls too."

Peter seemed surprised at this, "I just... thought you'd think less of me if you knew."

"Think less of you? No way, you know what... we can hang this right here." Tony hung the flag on a hook on the wall for everyone to see when they came into the lounge. 

Peter smiled a little and walked over to the flag, "may didn't know. She'd probably freak." Peter looked down at his feet at the thought of May, "she was always asking me if I was gay... then seemed really relieved when I had a date with a girl for homecoming."

Tony put an arm around peter and pulled his into a one sided hug, Peter didn't pull away. He knew it was hard to come to terms with yourself, but it was good to experiment. 

"Why don't we start getting a room set up for you then?" Tony said cheerily. 

Peter perked up a bit and so they began to decorate the spare room. Turns out that it wasn't just peters room getting decorated, some Star Wars blankets got threw into the lounge and onto Tony's bed, glow in the dark stars covered the kitchen ceiling, posters were hung up all through the hallways and there were fairy lights everywhere. 

"We just need to add some colour to the walls and the room will be complete...but that's for another day," tony wiped his forehead. Arranging furniture wasn't all that easy, but at least it was some bonding time with peter and took the kids mind off what had happened earlier in the day. Tony pulled peter into another hug which was unusual for his, he usually hated physical affection. 

"I will never understand why you held me if you were afraid of warmth, you should have known I was a fire," peter marvelled.

"What does that have to do with the current situation?" Tony laughed. 

"It's no secret that you don't like hugs Tony, that's the afraid of warmth part. So I will never understand why you hug me...when you hate physical attention. And then I'm a fire...and you're afraid of warmth, yet you hug me. I'm sorry that probably made no sense," peter said. 

"It made perfect sense kid," tony said as he raked his fingers through peters hair. "How about we go downstairs? I think I heard the team arriving back, do you want to meet them? Of course, you don't have to." Tony said it all quite quickly but peter just put a hand over the mans mouth. 

"I'd love to!" Peter laughed. So they made their way down the stairs instead of taking the elevator, to surprise the team. 

"Hey everyone!" Tony cheered as they entered the room. 

Tony was simply met with some gloomy faces, and a drenched avengers team. He looked towards the window where it was pouring with rain. Weird. He'd been having such a good time with peter that he hadn't even noticed the rain. 

"Who's the kid that's latched onto your arm?" Scott was first to ask. 

Tony looked down at peter who had grabbed onto his arm when they first entered the room. Peter had only met the avengers as spiderman so it was quite normal that he was a bit anxious.

"This is peter, more commonly known around the team as spiderman." Tony introduced peter and shoved him forward a bit so the team could see him. 

Tony found it difficult to read the emotions on peters face, but that was probably because he was feeling so many. Tony could however, tell that peter had no intentions on letting go of his arm. 

"Why don't we go sit on the couch with the team," Tony said slowly. Peter walked behind Tony, unsure of what the team would think of him without the mask. 

"What's that?"peter asked, he pointed towards some sort of blanket fort in the corner. 

"Scott and Cassie made that last weekend," clint informed him. "Pretty cool right? It's super big... the whole team fits in!" 

"Really?" Peter asked. 

Clint simply laughed, "well...it might be a bit of an over exaggeration. Hey! Why don't we make it bigger and have a sleepover tonight!" 

"You really are the biggest child of the team, clint." Steve was laughing while he said it, "but I'm down for that."

Tony rolled his eyes and laughed. Somehow, moments later the avengers found themselves extending a blanket fort so they could hang out and watch movies. Half-way through steve grabbed tony away.

"That kid really seems to be growing on you, how old is he? 12? 13?" Steve asked. 

"Fifteen," tony chuckled. "And yeah I guess he is growing on me, i- is it bad that I wish he wasn't? I mean...I've spent all my life with nobody really and peters only been with me for the day but...there's just something about him."

"I think it's nice tony." Steve turned away as he said that in order to finish off the fort.


	2. Hush little baby, don’t you cry

Monachopsis  
The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place

Peter had an enjoyable time extending the fort so all the avengers could fit inside. They had gotten half way through the second movie they were watching when thunder erupted across the sky causing the power to shut off. Peter would have been more embarrassed by the fact he had practically jumped on top of tony if the team had seen him, but for the time being he didn't care. 

"You alright kid?" Tony asked, his voice dripped with concern for the child he was now cradling in his arms. 

"Y-yeah I'm good," peter said. It was as if the world knew he was lying though as more thunder roared outside and peter was soon sobbing into Tony's shirt. 

"Can someone go find a light source?" Tony demanded as he stroked peters curls.

Wanda quickly brought up a hologram of a campfire on her phone that produced enough light that you could make out who everyone was, but not enough to calm peter down. Clint, who had children, seemed to know what to do. He tripped and cursed his way out of the fort to grab the guitar that sat next to the tv, when clint then got back in he began to strum a few notes before natasha started singing. 

"I'm dedicating every day to you, domestic life was never quite my style. When you smile, you knock me out, i fall apart. And I thought i was so smart."

The team slowly picked up the next verse to continue the song.

"You will come of age with our young nation, we'll bleed and fight for you, we'll make it right for you. If we lay a strong enough foundation we'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you. And you'll blow us all away someday, someday. Yeah you'll blow us all away someday, someday."

When the avengers stopped, Tony carried on. Peter could feel him rubbing circled around his back. 

"My father wasn't around, I swear that I'll be around for you. I'll do whatever it takes, I'll make a million mistakes, I'll make the world safe and sound for you."

Peter hadn't calmed down immensely from the teams singing, but his grip on tony had loosened. Peter felt stupid for making such a big deal in front of the avengers, thunder had always been one of his biggest fears along with the dark. There hadn't been a thunder storm in a while and may was there to comfort him that time...but now Tony was here and tony held him closer than May had. The man had even sang for him! Soon enough, peter found himself wrapping his arms around Tony once again as a thank you. 

"It's ok pete, I'm here." Tony planted a light kiss on peters forehead and peter could almost feel the aura around Tony change. 

"You know what, it's getting pretty late...why don't we make some pizza and catch up before we go to sleep," steve suggested.

Peter knew that it wasn't getting late but he'd do anything to get everyone's minds off what just happened. Just as he was about to get off of tony, peter felt fingers running through his hair except they weren't Tony's this time. 

"Are you feeling better, baby spider?" Asked the voice of natasha. 

Peter didn't answer but he had a feeling Tony did as natasha didn't inquire any further. Peter was then able to crawl free from Tony's grip and followed behind the team towards the kitchen. The kid did keep close to tony though as the storm was still going on outside. He noticed the lights starting to flicker on and off so he assumed that the electricity would be back on by the time they were ready to make pizzas. 

It turned out that peter was right, when they got the pizzas out the electricity was back on and the lights were working. It was seven in the afternoon and peter hadn't realised how hungry he was until he noticed that he hadn't eaten in six hours. 

While steve put the pizzas in, nat made hot chocolate for everyone, sam grabbed extra snacks, tony got the tv back on, and the rest of them sat around the breakfast bar. Rain could still be heard from outside but it wasn't loud enough to bother anyone. 

"We should have gone out in the rain, I love storms!" Sam exclaimed.

"We were out in the rain you idiot, on the way back to the compound. You made up all stand outside for like...five minutes!" Wanda retorted. 

Peter quickly got tired of the avengers snarky commentary so he got up from the breakfast bar to find tony. it's not like the man was hard to find, he was on the couch going through messages. Peter thought perhaps tony was doing something important and decided it was best that he stayed back a bit in order to not bother the man. 

"I know you're standing behind me peter," tony said. 

Peter sighed and climbed over the couch to sit next to tony, just as he did tony set his phone down. Only moments later the screen lit up again with a message, peter glanced over only to see a picture of himself as Tony's lock screen, it was a picture of him staring up at a comic book shop. Most people probably wouldn't even know it was peter, he only knew because he remembered being there. 

"You have a picture of me as your lock screen?" Peter asked, budging closer to tony so his head could rest on the mans shoulder. 

"Yeah, I have a bunch of pictures of you that you didn't know I took...want to see them?" Tony didn't let peter reply before he hooked his phone up to the tv and put pictures onto the bigger screen. 

"That's so cute!" Peter heard Wanda exclaim from the kitchen. 

Right, he forgot that the lounge and kitchen were connected so everyone could see the pictures. The first one was of peter lying asleep on a couch, he recognised the couch to be one from his own apartment. 

Tony went through a whole load of pictures of peter, probably over a hundred. There were pictures from the car journey when peter had first met Tony, some from peters fifteenth birthday, a load of peter sleeping. The last two pictures were from that night, one was of all the avengers building the fort, peter was smiling at tony yet he had no idea the picture was being taken. The last one wasn't taken by tony, it was from when the lights had went out and peter was curled up in Tony's arms. Tony's reaction to seeing that picture was the same as peters, clearly neither of them knew it had been taken.

"Aww Tony's such a dad!" Sam exclaimed in a sing-song voice. 

Peter felt his face grow slightly warm, he did see Tony as a father figure but he wasn't sure his tony would feel about that. When peter looked up at tony he saw that the man had a large smile plastered on his face. 

"I love you, lille skat," he whispered into peters ear.


	3. Right by your side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW- mentions of vomit
> 
> I kinda rushed this at the end because I wanted to get it finished so I’m sorry in advance! :(

Ellipsism  
A sadness that you will never be able to know how history will turn out

Grief started eating away at peter the next week. They had May's funeral at the beginning of the week and peter just went into a spiral of sadness afterwards, it was painful for Tony to see peter lying in his bed day after day, staring mindlessly at the ceiling with tears dried on his face. 

By the time the second week of peter living with Tony had rolled around, things started to change. Peter left his room and was eating again but had a constant need to be close to Tony, the man didn't blame him of course...all of his family was gone and he needed someone to be there. Peter had developed a habit of holding onto Tony's thumb whenever he was close enough. 

It was June 1st now, 9am. Tony knocked on peters bedroom door and walked in without waiting on a reply. Peter wasn't in his bed when Tony went in, tony then checked the large closest to see if peter was possibly picking out some clothes before gently knocking on the bathroom door. He opened the door and found peter lying asleep in the bathtub under many blankets, Tony knew he shouldn't, but he quickly took a picture before kneeling down next to the bath to wake peter. 

"Hey kiddo, time to get up," tony chimed. His voice was loud enough to waken peter up but quiet enough that it wouldn't startle him, "why were you sleeping in the bath?"

Peter rubbed his eyes and stretched a bit, "I'm not used to having such a big bed." The kids voice indicated that he hadn't had a good nights sleep as he sounded tired. "I have a small double first, then I had single bunk beds...now I have this huge bed and I'm not used to it."

"You've slept in that bed before," tony pointed out. Since peter occasionally stayed at Tony's when May wasn't home, tony had decided to get a bed. 

"That's different, it's- it's hard to explain..." peter said. He grabbed the side of the bath and hoisted himself up so he could climb out. 

Tony hovered close in case peter happened to fall, he seemed to be developing more fatherly traits towards peter that he didn't think would ever happen. As soon as peter was out of the bathtub he latched himself onto Tony's thumb and walked out of the room with the man. 

"Well, we need to start getting back into better habits which means eating breakfast everyday and actually doing something other than playing video games...so I thought perhaps we could go out and buy waffles for breakfast then paint your bedroom walls as I promised," tony rambled on as peter yawned and stared out the window. 

"Mhm, sounds great." Tony could tell peter wasn't listening to what he was saying but decided to ignore that and try to pry peters hands from around his thumb. 

"We both have to go get ready for the day so if you could just....let go for a few minutes," tony spoke. 

"Right of course...sorry," peter stammered as he let go of Tony's thumb, "I don't mean to an..annoy you I just-" peter didn't finish his sentence.

"Nothing to worry about pete, now go get ready and I'll meet you back here." Tony watched as peter rushed off to his room to get dressed, a smile growing on his face. 

About 15 minutes later Tony walked back into the lounge to find that peter wasn't ready yet, so Tony decided to go check in to make sure he was doing alright. When Tony knocked and there was no answer, he decided to slowly open the door and peek his head around. Peter must have been in the bathroom. Tony took this chance to look around at how peter had made the room his own. 

Tony noted the shelf of poetry books and plants, he spotted the record player on the floor and piles upon piles of notecards on his desk. One of the main things Tony noticed was a wall covered in photos that peter must have put up on his own, once he looked closer Tony noticed that a few of the pictures had been quite recent. Some from the two of them making pancakes together, others with the whole team. Tony noticed a group selfie that he had not been in and some pictures with Ned and MJ who peter always talked to him about.

"Oh uh..hi, you scared me," peter muttered when he opened the bathroom door and stepped out. 

"Sorry, not my intentions...are you ready to go?" Tony asked. 

Peter simply nodded his head before leaving the room, tony following behind. They took the elevator down to the garage, peter staying close to Tony but not in an uncomfortable way. That was something Tony didn't understand about himself...why did peter standing so close not make him uncomfortable? If it had been anyone else he would feel awkward. Not with peter though. 

 

They arrived at a cafe in the city only twenty minutes later, inside sat only one other family. It was a family of three... peter recognised the family to be MJ's. Peters hand then moved from Tony's thumb to the rim of his shirt, he didn't want to embarrass himself in front of his friend by holding on to Tony's thumb. 

"Pete, let's sit over here," tony said as he gestured towards a booth in the corner of the cafe.

They sat at the table, ordered their food, ate, and were away again in no time to buy paint. Peter had thought pretty carefully about the colour he wanted, a light blue to brighten up the room a bit. So tony and peter drove to the hardware store and picked out colours, really taking their time.

"Da- um, tony...are we painting the walls or are you going to hire someone to do it?" Peter asked as he kicked his feet up in the car.

"We're doing it, it'll be fun, and take your feet down," tony said while starting the car. 

They drove back to the compound with music being the only sound in the car, it was a sunny day and the car was hot...it reminded peter of the day May had died in the car crash. Peter wasn't sure if his version of what happened was what had actually happened, he'd taken a hit on the head during the crash and found that his memories from that day were fading quickly. Peter then lifted his hand up to touch the stitches that were still in his head.

"What are you doing?" Tony asked. He momentarily took his eyes off the road and swatted peters hands away from the stitches. 

"Do you know what happened that day?" Peter asked tony, perhaps the man had been there...

"I heard about it on the radio, crash right? Whole bunch of cars and only one dead. Why are you asking?"

"I can't remember much, I remember the sound of another car hitting ours and my head hitting the dashboard but that's about it," peter explained.

Tony didn't say anything else, neither did peter. So the rest of the journey was quiet again. Once they reached the compound, steve and sam were in the garage.

"Hey, what are you two up to? We're just going on a run," steve said as he stretched his legs.

"We're going to paint," tony told them, almost dropping the paint when peter took ahold of his thumb. 

They took the elevator up to the top floor, leaving sam and steve to stretch before going on their run. Both Tony and peter split ways to get changed into only clothes so they could paint, tony met peter in his room when they were ready.

"Just so you know, it's been years since I painted walls so neither of us are experts here," tony told peter. He wiped his forehead after emptying the paints into trays. 

"Shouldn't we be moving furniture before we paint?" Peter asked while rolling up his sleeves. May always made sure every bit of furniture was out of the way when she painted. 

"Hello no kid, live while you can. Who cares if we get paint on the furniture?" Tony laughed.

Peter laughed along with him with a hint of uncertainty but dipped his paint brush into the paint and began anyway. 

 

Hours later and they had finished, half way through painting the had to move some furniture out which wasn't a big deal until tony spotted some blue handprints on the white walls in the lounge where they had moved the furniture. There was eight handprints on the walls, three were Tony's and five were peters...how had they managed to do that.

"We could paint over them," peter suggested as he walked out of the kitchen, drying his hands off on his shirt.

"You know, I think I might like them." Tony observed the blue paint on the white walls, it was kinda cute to have his and peters handprints on the walls.

Tony backed away from the walls and sat down on the couch to watch tv, painting really took a lot out of you. Quickly enough, peter was by his side with his head resting on Tony's shoulder. Peter let out a yawn and moved in closer to tony who then ran his fingers through peters curls.

“You can sleep if you want, I know you haven’t been sleeping great this week,” tony whispered to peter. 

Peter didn’t reply so tony turned his head back to the tv and found himself start to doze off, the show that was on becoming a quiet drone in the background.

Not long later, tony was woken up by bruce and saw that peter was no longer curled up next to him. Tony looked frantically around the room to see where peter was before bruce put a hand on Tony’s shoulder.

“Calm down Tones, peter was sick and F.R.I.D.A.Y alerted us since you were asleep. He’s in your bed now,” bruce explained, “it’s just chronic anxiety symptoms, alright? After what happened to him...were you by any chance talking to peter about the recent events?”

“Uh yeah, he was asking about his aunt,” Tony said as he rubbed sleep from his eyes then stood up to find peter. 

As tony started to walk to his room bruce grabbed his shoulder again, “he looks pretty bad but it’s nothing ser... well, it’s a little bit serious but he’ll be fine soon.”

Tony simply brushed bruce off and continued towards his room. When tony walked in he saw Nat and Clint sitting with peter who was still asleep. 

“Why didn’t he wake me? Chronic anxiety? I-” Nat cut tony off with a movement of her hands which tony recognised to be sign language. 

“He just woke up and starting vomiting, he couldn’t even speak when we came up. We tried to clean up your couch without waking you up but I guess bruce did anyway, peters been asleep for about ten minutes, we couldn’t get him to calm down. He said...” Nat stopped for a second and glanced at Clint.

“He said he wanted his dad,” Clint finished.

Tony stared at them, waiting to see if it was a joke. Peter had called him dad? Why? Sure tony had been thinking of adopting him but he didn’t know peter felt that way. Tony put a hand on his head and sat down at the end of the bed, causing peter to stir. The man cursed under his breath for waking the kid when he had just recently fallen asleep. Nat and Clint slowly got up from their seats and left Tony and peter on their own. 

“Hey bud, how are you feeling?” Tony asked, he knew it was silly because the kid had been throwing up just minutes ago.

“I- i feel weird?” Peter said it like a question, “it’s not the first time that’s happened...the first time without May though.”

Tony got up from the end of the bed to climb in next to peter who grabbed onto the mans thumb as soon as he was next to him.

“I’m right by your side, peter.”


	4. Some things just don’t work out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***hints/mentions of suicide***

Nodus tollens   
The realisation that the plot of you life doesn't make sense to you anymore

On June 3rd when peter thought he was getting better, things got worse again. He wasn't able to get up from bed because of his anxiety, every time he did all these 'what if' thoughts flew through his head and he felt queasy. Peter knew that tony was trying to help him but when it came to anxiety, peter felt like he was just bothering the man and would rather he just went back to his work. Being at the compound was starting to get overwhelming for him, peter often just wanted it to be him and tony but every time they were alone someone always ended up needing something. 

"Pete, I think we should take you down to bruce for a check up..." tony said as he glanced at his watch. Tony then held out a hand, "I don't really think I'd be able to carry you to medbay."

Peter just looked at Tony's hand, he wanted to get out of bed but it made him feel uneasy, he felt safe here. He wanted to just curl up and watch movies with Tony all day. 

"C'mon kiddo," Tony urged in a soft voice before reaching down to grab peter below his armpits. This just caused peter to throw up and for tony to almost drop him on the floor, but peter quickly got a grip of himself and steadied himself on the floor before attaching a finger through the loophole of  Tony's jeans. Peter noticed tony smile slightly before they walked off to medbay at a slow pace.

 

"He has a stomach ulcer, a common symptom if your anxiety is bad, and from the trauma peter has recently gone though it's not a huge surprise," bruce explained as he looked through bottles on the shelves before finding what he was looking for.

"Take two of these a day, make sure you don't overdose," bruce said to peter as he handed tony a bottle of pills. 

Tony nodded but peter didn't say anything, his chin was resting on his chest. Not looking at either of the men in the room. Tony sighed slightly before dragging peter off the bench and leading him back towards the elevator to their floor, peter was still in his pyjamas and tony had to say he thought the kid looked pretty cute. 

When they were back up on the floor again tony spoke up, "you can take two pills now and go lie down on the couch for a while, i don't particularly think you should get back into bed in case you don't get back out. Also I have some work to do in my office but I won't be in there for long."

"Can't- can't you stay?" Peter asked with a sniff.

"I wish I could kiddo, but pepper has been trying to call me for three days now and I've been ignoring the calls, why don't you watch a movie and I'll join you soon?" Tony suggested.

Peter eventually gave in and took his pills before lying on the couch to watch movies, he chose the Harry Potter series. Tony ruffled his kids hair then went down the hall to his office to make some calls. Peter lay on the couch for ages waiting for tony to come back and watch movies with him, he occasionally got up and walked down the hall to see if Tony was finished. Peter had just started the third movie when he started to feel tired so got up to finally tell Tony he had finished watching movies and was going to bed. 

 

Tony heard a loud thud coming from outside the door and glanced at the clock on the wall. Shit. He'd been in his office for five hours straight doing work. Peter. Tony rushed out of his office only to find peter lying on the floor with a pool of blood around his head. For about three seconds, tony just stood there but he then rushed back to his office and pressed the emergency button that was by his desk, it was there to alert the rest of the team if there was an emergency on that floor. Every member had one. Tony had never used the button as he had never felt like there had been an emergency big enough that he needed to.

Within a matter of seconds the team were on Tony's floor, some taking the stairs, others filing out of the elevator. Bruce spotted tony kneeling down by peter and immediately rushed over. 

"What happened, tony?" Bruce asked and he started to roll peter onto his back. The kid was unconscious, his stitches split from the marble floors he had hit. 

"I have... I have no idea. I was just in my office then I came out here and he was...lying there," tony explained. Tony knew he probably should have checked up on peter, he had promised movies when he finished calling pepper. 

Tony tried to brush some of peters hair from his forehead but it was sticky with blood, he felt like crying...why did he feel like that? Did the kid really have that much of an impact on him? 

"We won't be able to take him all the way down to medbay without him losing too much blood, take him to the nearest bed and start washing the blood off his forehead," bruce ordered as he stood up. 

Steve walked over and lifted peter up to save tony from doing it. Tony led Steve to his own room which was across from the office, he lay peter down on the white bed which quickly began to turn red. Nat entered soon after with a cloth to wipe at the blood on peters head.

"Where are the stitches from?" Steve asked. 

"Car crash," Wanda said bluntly from the doorway. 

Tony could tell she had been reading his mind, it was just something she did. He always felt weary around her. Tony quickly forgot about Wanda reading his mind when peter started to stir, nat got up and left the room with the cloth, not saying anything. Peter opened his eyes slightly and looked around the room, he clearly didn't know what was going on and probably wouldn't remember it later on either. 

"Dad?" Peter mumbled through half closed eyes.

Tony stopped for a minute, the kid had hit his head pretty hard...did he know what he was saying? But then he said it again, a hand reaching out for tony,  
"Yeah bud I'm here," tony said as he sat down on the floor beside the bed, choosing to ignore the looks from steve and Bruce who had just returned. 

Bruce started patching up peters head, "what happened peter?" He gave peter a look as if to say he wasn't taking much bullshit so peter should just be straight up. 

"I uh...went looking for tony. Got light headed," peter said simply while closing his eyes again. Tony stroked his thumb across peters hand, this was his fault. Peter fell back unconscious within a matter of seconds, snoring slightly since his mouth was open and filled with blood. 

 

Peter woke up, not realising he had fallen asleep. Tony was sitting on the floor next to the bed he was lying in, reading emails. Peter could feel a thumping sensation at the front of his head, he went to touch it and Tony's head snapped up causing peter to lower his hand again. 

"How long was I asleep?" Peter asked as he swung his legs out of bed, being careful not to kick tony. 

"About half an hour," tony replied while grabbing peters ankles and putting them back into the bed, "you need sleep."

"No I don't."

"Yeah, right spiderkid, you're the one that got light headed earlier and passed out on the floor. But I'll let you get out of bed and we can go watch a movie on the couch for now," tony said with a slight eye roll. 

Peter knew Tony was only suggesting this because he knew peter would fall asleep half way through a movie, so peter tried his hardest to stay awake. It proved to be quite difficult, around 45 minutes into the movie peter found himself curled into Tony's lap with heavy eyes. Just as peter was beginning to dose off he swore he felt tony kissing the top of his head. 

Peter woke with a start, he was hyperventilating. Why? He hadn't had any nightmares...he couldn't remember having any dreams whatsoever. Tony jumped slightly when peter woke but didn't say anything, he just continually ran his fingers through peters hair and made shushing noises. His breathing evened out again and he settled back into Tony's chest, that was strange. The two sat in silence to a while before tony spoke,

"Do you want to get some dinner now?" He mumbled into peters ear. 

"Yeah..." peter trailed off with a sigh, he stayed on the couch while tony got up to prepare some dinner. Just as peter thought tony was going to leave the room he turned around again and pulled peter up to his feet. 

"C'mon kiddo, let's make dinner together!" 

Tony dragged peter towards the kitchen and started to play some music while they prepared dinner. In the end they wound up having microwaveable fries and chicken, a five star meal. 

"So talk to me," Tony said quite suddenly while taking another bite of his food. 

Peter sat with wide eyes for a second before looking down at his lap, what should he say? Where did he start? He could ask tony what was going to happen with his school, where he would go. But perhaps Tony didn't want questions, he wanted answers. To what though. 

"Come on pete, don't you trust me? Why are you keeping to yourself so much?" Tony begged. So he wanted peter to explain stuff to him. 

"I don't understand," peter whispered.

"What is there you understand, peter? You hid yourself away all of last week and now that you're up and about again you won't tell me what's causing all this. You're...you're bottling up feelings and that's not healthy!" Tony half snapped. 

Peter could feel tears welling in his eyes and he just begged that they wouldn't spill, he felt very fragile at the moment. He had just lost his last living family member and was now living in a large compound full of avengers! Everything was a bit overwhelming. Peter set down his plate and glanced at the clock. 6:53. He looked towards the blank tv screen and thought...what was he doing here? Why was he staying with Tony when he knew for a fact that he wouldn't be able to handle it, he needed constant comforting and wasn't sure if tony was really there to provide it. The tears began to spill. 

"Does my life even have any meaning anymore? What am I doing here tony? Why was it May that died in the crash, why couldn't it have been me? That would have worked easier," peter squeaked. 

Tony didn't move in to hug peter like he expected the man would, he didn't move at all...neither did peter. He looked down towards his foot while tony stared him head on, peter couldn't tell if he was thinking of something to say or if he was waiting for peter to speak again. Peter chose not to continue speaking, instead he got up from the couch and walked out of the room and towards his own bedroom, no matter how much he just wanted to be comforted and told that everything would be ok. Tony didn't follow him. 

 

"Tony this isn't your fault, peter is going through a lot of grief at the moment!" Rhodey exclaimed as he shook Tony's shoulder. After peter has gotten up and went to his room, Tony rushed down to Rhodey. He just couldn't handle it.

"He was hinting at wanting to die Rhodes, he doesn't want to be here. I shouldn't be taking care of him.." Tony panicked.

"Tony! What you need to do is calm down and go talk to your kid, he needs you."

Rhodey didn't give Tony anymore time to dwell on his thoughts and feelings, he got up and grabbed the man by his hands, pulling him to his feet. Rhodey muttered 'go' into Tony's ear before pushing him towards the elevator and walking away. Tony didn't stop when Rhodey pushed him, he pulled himself together and went up to his floor. 

The man arrived at the last door of his floor, it had some blue paint splashes on it along with peters name written across in stickers. Tony knocked on the door and just as he suspected, no answer. He decided just to go on in without calling, peter could be a danger to himself at a time like this. Just as he suspecting once again, peter was in danger. Tony found the kid in the bathroom rummaging through the medicine cabinet. 

"Looking for these?" Tony asked as he pulled a bottle of pills out of his pocket and shook it. Peter turned quickly, so quickly tony was able to hear his neck crack and couldn't help but wince. 

He looked at peter and took in his features, the kids eyes were red from crying and his lips were bleeding, he had clearly been biting them. Tony said nothing more, he embraced peter just as he should have earlier that day. 

"I'm sorry for making things tough for you," peter whispered into Tony's shirt. 

"There's nothing to be sorry for kiddo, you’re going through far too much for someone your age. Remember, you can talk to me about anything, anytime.”

“Thanks Tony, I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry sorry it’s been ages I’ve been stressed. 
> 
> Anyway, this chapter means a bit more to me that the others. I wanted it up for world mental health day but sometimes mental health gets in the way of that. The reasons behind this chapter are a bit more personal as I like to include parts of myself in my stories. But remember to contact or talk to someone if you’re going through a tough time, don’t suffer in silence.


End file.
